The first time Mary almost died was January 2014, only a month after diagnosis. We hadn’t told anyone yet about her diagnosis. She had started using a bipap to help support her breathing but wasn’t completely dependent on it. We did not have caregivers in place – we didn’t realize she needed them yet – and I was at work. At about 3pm, she left the bipap in the living room and went to the master bathroom. Getting up from the toilet, she fell. She didn’t injure herself, but she couldn’t get back up off the floor. An hour later, she had managed to slowly butt-scoot her way to the dresser (about 15 feet away) while struggling to breathe, and used her cane to hook her fanny pack off the dresser. Inside the fanny pack was a deactivated cell phone. On the verge of passing out from lack of oxygen, she managed to dial 911. When the paramedics and sheriff arrived, the sheriff had to kick in the door since she always kept it locked when she was home alone. The paramedics carried her to the living room and put the bipap on her, staying with her until her pulse ox was back up to normal range. A little after 5, I called to let her know I was on my way home (like I had done every single day for 10 years), she started with “I’m ok, but we need to get the door fixed”. That was when I realized how quickly things were going to change. I called a neighbor who came right over and fixed the door. The bipap made its new home on the seat of the walker, and I attached it to a 50-foot extension cord so it could move around the house with her. No more going to the bathroom without the bipap. Go to the nearest bathroom, not the one you like the best. Use the walker, not the cane. Always keep your cell phone on you. I began to wonder how to keep her safe while I kept working so that we had a place to live, and I realized whether she wanted to or not, it was time to tell them family.
